specs

i lost my spex in baby's room. the feeling of not being able to see clearly sux. i have to sit right in front of the tv, in order to know what's goin on. and having to put the monitor nearer to me is so troublesome. on to of that, the brightness of the screens are like a pain to my eyes. anyway, my dearest mom went to search for my old spex. well, at least now i'm not blind anymore. but i'm not going to wear it out. its so freaking ugly. old, bent and ugly.

still, i'm glad that i have a cleare vision.

thank god.

changed template

ok once again i've changed my template. cos baby always complains that she cant read. it's getting easier and easier... i mean the html and all. i still remember the first time i did it, i spend almost a day. now its not even half an hour. i think i spend more time on choosing the template.

anyway... guess what? i don have to spend much on buying text books. baby is lending me most of them. dearies, arent you two jealous. haha...

still feeling blissful

the bitch is still feeling happy today... i realise that its true that one doesnt need alot to feel happy. its just something simple like this which doesnt even cost a cent that means alot.

its 1 plus in the morning, i know i ought to be in bed.. but something is keeping me up. i wish that i can talk about it. but seems like no one is sharing the kinda feeling that i have in me.

cant believe that i refreshed the page a few times... how stupid i am.

i know the entry is very unorganised. its meant to be that way.

thanx baby for wanting to take care of me... its really sweet. but for some reason, i don't see myself younger than you! haha. so dont try to bully me just because of that.anyway, i had fun in the arcade with you. you look soooo kiddishly cute. especially the look that you had when you lost to me. i would have kiss you if there werent anyone around. and it reminded me of that song by Aslyn, "that's when".

bliss

it has been a real crappy day today..
but something just changed my view.
haha
i'm a blissful bitch.

nice to baby

argh i really wanna slp... i'm so god damn tired... well i'm forced to stay awake because i'm receiving this song that my baby wants! and i have to wait for it to finish. sob sob... what have i gotten myself into? her royal highness the second (the first is my mom) is happily snooring on her bed while i'm trying to oRpen my eyes.. aiyo!

Soccer Carnival

haha the carnival that i lied about. i told my mom that i'm going to play soccer but the fact is all that i did was to cheer only. without my pongs pongs. haha. *wink*


laogong and i


the cools us!


er... i donno what's that


oh... shuai (4)!

Batam Trip

finally, some photos from batam..


Harris Resort


by the pool side, where you eat expensive pizza and pasta...


the
pool side again


yes again


hmmmm and the room... big and spacious.


the corridor


the spiral staircase that we used everyday


the lobby. taken from 2nd floor


the lobby again


The mistress from batam that followed me back to singapore...

My 21st birthday

My 21st birthday celebration at fish and co... hehe... yiqi and karen gave me the best birthday present, though it is a super belated one. they made everyone record a video clip and yiqi burnt them into a disc for me. oh how sweet. my mom thinks that it's very thoughtful too. she said i can show them to my children when i'm old. haha. anyway... she said if i ever get married, it'd be a very grand one too. cos i've got so many friends. well not just any friends but each and everyone of you means alot to me. thanx ppl... i feel as though god has blessed with me so many angels...



what's a birthday without cakeS and wishes?


and not forgeting the cutting part...


My Piggy Goggy Group. from the left,
Su'An(zhu1) Yirang(peng2) Xunhui(gou3) Moi(you3)


The Thump Thump Girls. clockwise from the top left,
ChuiFia, me, HuiXian, Yeling, Monica, Yujia and Erin.


Karen, Me and Yiqi


My DEARIES. Shile, Wenya and I


Oh.... and the who... who lor... (baby1 and baby2)

i'm still thinking about it... should i or should i not... i thought i've made up my mind that i'll do it. but now i'm having second thought. argh.

suan.... give me some encouragements pls.

tuition

i'm glad that i got my first tuition assignment which pays me well and is near my place. however, i'm not exactly very happy about it cos the mom wants to see me tmr. darn. i had to cancel on my baby. a big KNS man. i donno what to expect, hopefully things turn out fine tmr. i've got a feeling that the mom is a fussy woman.i dont like working for such people but i've got no choice. i need and want the money.

tmr is the add drop period. baby offered to help me do the time table again. how nice. i wanna get the time table that i want. i think i got my soci class too. cos when i try to enter "star" (forget it if you donno what it is), a small box popped out and said that i havent acknowledge my ge class.

cant wait to see the casanova tmr. i'm dying to see her. *wink wink*

my fucking irritating brother has just annoyed the hell out of me... i wanted to blog something which is of a more pleasant mood. thanx to him.... i'm fuck pissed off! fucking stupid lazy edwin. i really dont understand him... argh! fucker.

different

i just set up a mini resume for this temp job that cutie got for me. hopefully they get back to me soon cos i sent them my most drop dead gorgeous photo and it took me awhile to do the cutting and pasting. so lets not waste my effort, give me the bloody job. haha.

i'm still waiting for lowe to call me back. i was quite excited over the tuition assignment that i thought i'm going to get which is at boonlay. argh the anticipation is taking away my appetite. i really mean it. i need the god damn assignment!

anyway, i went to check out on the potential GE for next sem. haha. i just had this urge to settle all these itsy bitsy stuff tonight. oh it turns out that the screwed up time table that i have is actually not that screwed up afterall. see what i mean? if only i learn how to relax and look at things from a different angle. i realised that by changing one of classes, not only do i get to enjoy a 3 days week, the timing for all the lessons is pretty good too. hehe. when i say good, i really mean it cos it fits my tuition. that is if i even get any assignments lah! of course when i add in my GE, i'll have a 4 days week. sigh... but its ok... i can make do with that. *wink*

so now i'm just hoping and praying that some nice angels will let me have their class. oh btw the GE classes that i want happened to have vacancies! i'm just a lucky bitch!

well the bitch is going to sleep now and dream of her baby! hehe...

sick of tuition

why cant i just get what i want. its so sickening that i have to compromise. i have my own expectations but it seems like i always have to give in. i just got this tuition assignment. a p5 kid who's staying at bukit timah. i have to teach her everything, not that its a problem to me but its the fact that she's staying pretty far away from me and i only get 220. 2hrs a session and twice per week. come to think of it... its like not that much. perhaps i could get a higher pay for that 4 hrs. then again, its not for sure. i cant be too fussy or else i'd have no income when sch reopens. fuck lah.

i really want to teach secondary sch kids... the pay is slightly higher and i dont have to teach that long either. of cos the nearer to my house, the better it is. this whole tuition seach is so fucking irritating. all i want is a decent income.... and now i'm like so fuck worried bout it. not only that, honestly speaking, i hate giving tuition. well who loves working? but that's the only job that you get to earn more nowadys considering the amount of time that you sacrifice. i cant possibly work like a cow at a cafe just for that 5 bucks an hour.

guess what? i still have to pay 50% commision to the freaking agents. argh. pissing.

maybe if i just learn to be satisfied with what i have... you know? stop complaining about the pay and just be contented. stop thinking of the time that i could spend on entertainment.. ya ya ya...

actually, maybe i should just stop being so paranoid of not getting any assignments when school starts. if i just relax... and try to get assignments by myself. christine told me to paste those small little pamphlets around my place. the result could be much better than going through agents. well at least i dont have to pay them for not doing much. i mean for god sake, i think they really shouldnt charge so much. 20 bucks for clinching one deal is more than enough! anyway... back to my little solution, the other advantage is that i get to teach people that are staying near me. maybe i can teach groups too... the pay is definitely higher... argh... how how how?

ok relax... relax...

argh i need to talk!!! i wanna talk!!!

up early

how rare to see me blogging at 7 in the morning. i can hardly believe it too. i mean me waking up this early. well the birds are definitely not chirping, the sun is not up yet.... its just not the typical nice morning that one would find oneself waking up on. the night has been tough... but boy am i glad that i slept. i was pretty worried that the thoughts would keep me awake the whole night. anyway, i'm going to wash up now and eat my breakfast! hehe. that's the incentive for waking up early... plus i get to talk to my mom. speaking of whom, she's making too much noise out there with junkai and junior. so glad that i'm freaking awake now, if not i would have been so irritated with her.

oh... my mom was showing off her new bra to me last night! argh i'm fuck jealous! its the triumph new seamless t shirt bra... if you have no idea what it is, well just know that it freaking costs 80 bucks for one. kns. *roll my eyes*

why do i find it hard to talk to you?
when all i want is you to know?
why do i get the feeling that you wont understand?
why do i always feel so useless when you are upset or angry?
whenever you are troubled, i can never help you....
too scared to offer my five cent worth of comments...
fearing that it'd just piss you even further...
i dont even fucking dare to hug you.
its like the least that i can do
and yet i cant...
i hate to say this,
but i guess you know it too,
i forsee myself pissing you...
an average of once a day... if its a lucky day..
if not... god knows how many.
so u are god damn rite...
(if you remember what you said)

its so fucking killing me.

still..

baby
i love you.

sunday nite

i'm actually quite tired.
of myself.
donno what i'm thinking.
its killing me inside.
i ought to stop torturing myself.
but i cant.
i just cant stop
thinking.
it doesnt make me feel any better,
yet i'm still doing it.

i'm dying inside.
this whole emotional roller coaster is sucking up every breath that i have.
why am i so weak?
sometimes i get so mixed up that i wish do not exist.
naive, immature and stupid.
that's the way i am.
i wonder when will i ever change.
to be a better person.

herstory party

the herstory party last night was fun! minus the part when i was so sick that i felt like dying in the toilet. i swear to god that i'd never drink when i'm sick. my head was going hay wire, i couldnt stand still and i felt as though i'd collapse at any minute. in the end, i forced myself to throw up which was the smartest thing to do. but when i returned to the dance floor, i was overcome by nausea again. i could care less about others who looked at me as though i'm some weird freak. thank god i had my friends who took care of me... and of course my beloved baby... i'm so greatful that she was with me the whole time. on the other hand i was so sorry for causing her to miss out on the show.

anyway, i was quite surprise and happy to see ting ting at the party too.

saw yj when i was oustide. i can never forget the stupid rumour that whoever spread back in pj. and she being so ever egoistic thought that i liked her.. oh... its just freaking embarrassing for me. speaking of which, she saw me looking at her. well i guess she must had thought "oh its the girl who had a big crush on me!" argh. ew.

and someone else was there too! i have no idea why she was dancing so near to me and baby. showing off that she can dance better than us? or maybe she just wanted us to acknowledge her presence... really i have no idea.

anyhow... i love the party. thousands of ppl for me to check out.definitely a place for me to meet up with ppl. and... cuty was on stage dancing. simply finger-biting-cute. *scream* *scream* *scream*

jobless

i'm unemployed when sch reopens. argh. how worrying. whatever... it wont kill and i'm not letting it affect me right now.

another bad news... i got an email from the sch. one of the class that i signed up for is canceled... and i'm being allocated to this other time slot. i donno how bad it is... probably not at all. but whenever i think about my time table, it simply irks me. and i know it's all my fault.

happy

HAPPY.

fun

i had fun today!

to start off, its the last work day of the week. how can i not feel good about it?! haha. though i did the same stuff as the day before, it wasnt as boring as i thought it would be. perhaps it's because suan and i had been talking about herstory party. haha. its next thursday, and that girl has been waiting for more than a month! haha.

dinner at newton with XH.

went jb with them and von. walao the supper at this market place was damn freaking cheap. 5 bucks and i got to eat seafood and some other nice stuff. i'm gonna give bukit timah up for JB! haha.

oh btw i really think that my mom loves xh and suan! they talked as though there's no age gab... xh bribed her with a pack of fried kuay teow in exchange for my passport :)

dreamt of her

just when i'm sick and depressed, i dreamt of her. she walked up to me and said hi.... i was thrilled! i remember vividly that 2 letters word of hers sent me all the way up to cloud 9. the show started just when we were about to start our conversation... but through out the whole show we were looking out for each other... trying to find the opportunity to talk.

so much to tell, yet none is told.

douglas was on mc when i went to cut my hair. fuck. i wanted a guy to cut for me but they sent a girl. freaking hell. what a big mistake to let her touch my hair. xh told me to keep an eye on her... but still!!! she doesnt understand what short and spikey are!douglas would staight away cut and leave one and a half inch... but this freaking girl was practically trimming my hair! i had to tell her "eeerr i don't mind shorter you know?" damn i still prefer douglas. my all time fav hairstylist. he knows me the best. kns... now i have to put up with this weird hair cut.... pissing.

hair sucks!

work sucks!

the day sucks!

everything sucks!

Bad news

walao... today is a real bad day for me! i woke up with a flu. i had to pop 2 flu pills down which made me feel slpy the whole morning.

work was terrible. i have no idea what linda wants from me. it seems like she's making me do all the redundant work. minthu was so nice, he offered to help me. he even asked jane to help me out too. but still.... we dont understand that linda... argh.. tmr i have to pull out 800 files. i can imagine myself doing the same thing the whole day man! i hate working... actually i hate my work. i have no fix job. everyday i have to pester those ppl to assign me something to do. and when they do, its never good. kns.

my tuition kid's mom decided to stop the tuition lessons. KNS. i'm fuck worried now. i have to get new assignments soon. if not i'd be fuck broke when sch reopens. and somehow i have the feeling that my neighbour is going to stop the tuition too. walao.... i'd be dead if they do... then again maybe not that is if i manage to get new students. cos i think my neighbour is paying too little for the time that i spend on her kids. 6 hrs per week and i get 240 only.

i'm going to slp now. dead tired. fucked up day...argh.

before i go, i just thought of a solution to my "retrenchment"--> i'd find someone who's freaking rich to take care of me! and be a real tai tai. haha :)

back

i'm back from batam once again. this time round we bought even more stuff. according to von, we bought 3 times as many as the last time. you'd be shock by the things that i got for myself. let me do the listing... hehe.
9 ortho toothbrushes
1 ripcurl bikini (wooh... its my fav!)
3 sets of lingeries!
2 tops
2 boxes of contact lens (just when i need them)
10 packs of cuttle fish satay
2 oreo cookies

unlike the last trip, we shopped at three places this time. nagoya(just a short while), dc mall and mega mall which are located in batam city. mega mall is the best man. it's almost the same as the shopping centres that we have in singapore. of course the prices are high too. but at least i enjoyed myself the most at mega mall. haha. if you think i'm mad getting so many things for myself, you are wrong. the queen of madness would be someone else. haha. someone bought a total of 12 dvds. miss von simply couldnt resist all those dvd shops! when we were at the custom, i got quite worried. cos the officers were very strict with the checking. despite the long queue, the officers took their time in checking each luggage. thank god we were prepared before hand. hehe. we hid those dvds damn well so that the scanner couldnt scan them. *wink*

i've got bruises on my legs and back from carting. damn. my back is hurting quite badly, the blue blacks that i got on my right knee is terrible and the worst is the injury on my right heel. one whole piece of skin came off because my heel rubbed against the cart when i stepped onto the accelerator.

oh i managed to tan myself during this trip as the weather was really good. haha... in fact i got a little sun burnt.speaking of which, i cant wait to wear my new bikini for the next tanning session!!! ahhhh... :P

i really enjoyed myself throughout the whole trip. happy happy happy.

however, i do have to say that i think batam is a jinx to me! oh freaking damn it. the last time we went to batam, i had to fork out 400 bucks for von's lost phone. fortunately/unfortunately, this time i had to pay the fucking officer at batam custom 40 bucks because my passpost expires within the next 4 months. and the rule is that one's passport cannot expire for the next 6 months, if not one cant enter batam(in fact its the same for all countries). fuck man. the officer told me that either i go back or i have to compromise. walao... at first, i really didnt understand what he meant by i have to compromise. i kept asking him was there anything else that i could do... (meaning can i pay him). well... i donno how we came into a meeting of minds which was to pay him. he wanted 50 at first, i told him i dont have that much but he wouldnt want anything lower than that. so in the end, i paid him 4 ten dollars notes. haha... i think he wasnt aware of that. well who cares?! by the time he found out bout that, i'm already on my way to harris resort with my passport chopped! haha. babis like them really dont deserve my money, but i had no choice. argh. thinking bout it just irks me lah. BABIS!!!!

so that was my batam trip.

eventhough i came back from batam on friday, i just got home 3 hours ago. haha. and i got the best welcome gift. kns. i got stucked in the lift! i entered the lift and once the door closed, the alarm rang and the lift got stucked at the ground floor. i felt like a monkey in a cage. all those ppl who walked past, had to point at the poor girl (me) and say something to the ppl next to them (god knows what they said).

argh... so embarrassing!

why must all these kinda stupid things happened to me?! why must i always embarrass myself??? argh. i really feel like hiding myself in the blanket.