27th January 06, Friday 12:42am

fuck accounting
fuck school work
basically just fuck everything!
i'm getting sick of this whole shit.
think i'm falling ill. like seriously. its fucking near chinese new year... my throat is killing me and i'm feeling fucking cold now. i hate chinese new year. never have i ever dreaded so much to celebrate it. fucking ironic to even use the word celebrate. what's there to celebrate?! its screwing up all my schedule. i dont wanna go back to msia cos i know i wont be enjoying myself the way i used to. i'd be worrying over fucking school work. like maybe i should just bring my accounting text back to STUDY!!! i've got fucking tons of work to do, datelines to meet and so fucking little time. and i have no fucking mood to do anything. basically i'm just quite a screwed up girl right now. i wanna cry out loud... i'm collapsing.. something is eating me up... i've got no enthusiasm to learn, to do anything else but to sleep. i wish i can close my eyes and dream forever. FOREVER.
fuck you fuck you fuck you!
i soooooo fucking hate myself.
what is soooooooo fucking wrong with myself?!

26th January 06, Thursday 12:18am

finally i dined in ivins. its a peranakan restaurant located at binjai park. i really like the food there. the honey pork, sambal lady fingers, chilli sotong, meatball soup and asam fish were finger licking good, of cos we didnt eat with our fingers (eventhough its peranakan food). haha. oh all that dishes and 5 plates of yellow rice plus 5bowls of desserts only cost us a total of $29. how worth it right?

shall make a trip there again.soon.

25th January 06, Wednesday 12:12am

BSB concert was awesome. well, if you're a bsb fan then i'm sure you'll like it and find it enjoyable, otherwise just quit reading this.

shilei, fia and i were almost late cos we had to rush down from school after 6:30pm. thought that we'd make it in time... but i was panicking when we reached citihall at 8:15. it was written on the tix that the concert starts at 8, though we know they will start late, still i was really ganchiong. took a cab down from citihall and the freaking taxi queue was kinda long. argh anyhow... when we reached we bumped into this weird girl.. shall not elaborate here. while we were on our way up the escalator to the east entrance, i heard girls screaming like mad! and i got even more ganchiong!!!! told my friends to run cos i was sure its starting!!! luckily when we got to our seat, it was just nice! haha they started to sing.

omg. they performed all my favourite songs... i was frantically screaming and jumping on the spot. just couldnt help it. hahaha.. and i screamed out all the songs instead of singing. haha. it was just overwhelming! at one point i know i was so emotional that i felt this gush of sadness... it was the way they sing. i saw on the screen their facial expressions...

didnt expect them to perform their oldies but they did. songs like:
as long as you love me (omg... ya you bet...haha)
i'll never break your heart ( yes... i never want my heart to be broken. haha)
all that i have to give ( i dont want much... just your heart :P )
quit playing games with my heart (ditto)
larger than life
i want it that way
show me the meaning of being lonely
the one
drowning
backstreet's back (for the encore)
shape of my heart
dont want you back
siberia (my fav)
i still (this is the one that almost made me tear)
incomplete
just wanna let you know
crawling back to you
beautiful women
weird world

cant remember the rest... so sadddddddddd....cos of the songs... its like repeating in my head.
btw nick is fat, aj is cool(yes he really is), howie is cute, kevin is tall and brian is sweet.

has been quite some time since i last cooked instant noodle for myself... and i'm eating it now.

24th January 06, Tuesday 12:06am

narcissitic. yes the word that i've been looking for for days. just couldnt get it out of my head until a min ago. the perfect word to describe me now. i'm an inch away from falling head over heels with myself... or have i already done so? hmmmm.... i was looking at the photos once again and i found myself staring at myself. weird isnt it? but how can i resist myself... those cute little uniform on me which made me look totally like a small bung bung... hahaha.. yea whatever.

joan just called and i think my 214 groupmates are going to screw the project. i'm indifferent. strange and surprising. normally i'd just flare up and cant wait to scream my lungs out. this time round i'm just going to pray. pray that they will do a decent presentation?! no. not even close!(ok maybe i should, after all i'm graded too). joan told me that she talked to ling, and apparently ling's group has a problem working with this pair of couple(shall not name. just in case). so a brillian idea struck joan's head. we are planning to do a swap with that couple. can the whole wide world just pray for me?!!! cos it's very important. i wanna change group. i really really wanna change! then i'd have letigimate reason to ask for number, letigimate reason to meet up.... ya da ya da ya da.... hahaha.

23rd December 06, Monday 12:33 am

Zhu(Su'An) Peng(Yirang) Gou(XunHui) You(Me) + Manager(ShiJia)


we are never tired of posing... check out the colours of the uniforms... just pure coincidence. i kinda like. :) oh btw.. we had to squad abit to compromise xh's height. dont get fooled by the pic. xh is the shortest among us. thanx to her... if not i'd be the shortest one.


PJ netballers... its supposed to be much bigger than this. but who cares?! we are the most important one. haha.


told ya we're never tired of posing. don't you think i really look kinda cute? char kept saying that i look like a cute bung bung. and she kissed me more than a handful of times. shall pose the photos... yirang kissed me too... haha.. and ya...


the AC butch, SA butch, RG butch... and one SA extra.


teacher sophia and her students. i'm the most obediant one. check out my studious look.


more photos coming up... they are much more interesting than these. trust me. ;P

22nd January 06, Sunday 12:00am

yirang's bday party was pretty cool. so many people in so many different kinda school uniforms. there were ppl in convent u., a hand full of them. a number of ppl in pj u., expected. hmmm... then the nj pe attire, netball attire... oh and there were some dunearn girls too. a couple of rgs, including yirang herself. and ya... a few mgs. a few crescent girls. one st john guy. one sji (dearie guess who? your best friend. haha). one sajc (my lovely xh). and not forgeting one AC(i)! me! me! the winner!!! hahaha. well... i must say that i look damn good, stunning in fact. hahaha. that was why i won the best dressed.

i'll upload the photos when i get them. for now, i'll just be back to my little self.

21st January 06, Saturday 1.30pm

i hate myself for being so fucking lazy. when am i going to start on my fucking executive summary?! this is really damn sianz...

i'm losing sight of the things i want, the things that i should get done and everything else. basically i'm just a screwed up case. its just week 3 and i'm fucking stress with all the school work that is piling up somewhere in my cupboard and on my desk. the textbooks are perfectly untouched, arranged neatly in the cupboard. so ya... basically the procrascinator has not convinced herself well enough to get started. fuck just look... instead of typing something on ms word, i am blogging away.

have a little faith, janet.

19th January 06, Thursday 11:18pm

today has been a pretty good day. hmmm... the presentation was alright. i didnt do exceptionally well, neither did i fall below expectation. just say that it was a good kick off for this sem's presentations. i guess i need to start building up my self-confidence. whenever i stand in front of a group of people, i'll feel intimidated. its just a very natural occurance. i'll worried that i'd fumble and talk nonsense. most of the time, the more i worry over these, likelihood of it happening is pretty high. most importantly, i think its because i'm not confident with my own speech. after analysing my performance for the past sems, i think that when i'm scared, i'd panic, i'd speed up my speech and when i talk faster, i'd mixed up my points and i'd just talk rubbish. using wrong tenses, vocabs getting stucked in my head and worst of all... words chocking in my throat. if i'm more confident with myself, i'd talk in my usual speed and i wont get confused of what i wanna say... you know. feeling insecure of myself is really a psychological barrier for me. anyhow... i'll try to improve. that's a promise for myself.

the weather was surprisingly good today!!! walao eh... lucky dearie and i had decided to bring our swimsuits no matter what. so ended up swimming 50 laps!!! the sense of satisfaction was definitely there. was panting when i did my freestyle. it shows how terrible my stamina is now. hmmmm... and my arms are aching. ironically, i feel damn good about it. oh dearie and i had the whole pool almost all by ourselves. cool huh. and we got our little tan. hehe!!! : )

i skipped malay. so sorry fia. was too tired to attend class after the swim. went to watch memoirs of a geisha with shilei instead. that's a freaking good show!!! i love it!!! i didnt know gongli acted as hutsumomo. seriously, i wish i have the time and vocabs to describe the whole show. its the first (i think) slow movie that is worth my compliments. haha. bottom line is go and watch the movie... or read up on fridae movie review cos they did a good job in critiquing it.

you know i ought to get my ass on my tutorial question now... sigh.. 5 more min ya? haha.

i tried on the AC uniform and showed my mom. guess what was her first remark? "you ar... dont try to be like xh and yvvone ar..." gave her my cheeky smile and went to the room to check myself out on the mirror. well cant blame my mom for worrying. cos her daughter looks pretty cute in that sch u. like a boy boy. haha. i am going to take lots and lots of photos and i'm gonna post them up ya? hehe.

19th January 06, Thursday 12:58am

i've been searching for a suit. just in case my attachment needs one. anyway... i couldnt find one that i really fancy until today. i saw this piece. its the finest one that i've seen so far and i fell in love with it the very first time i had my eyes on it. so anyone interested to get it for me?! hahha. i was thinking maybe i'll be frank to all my friends... can i just have red packets for this year's bday? i know its still early to talk about it. but i'd really really appreciate it if you ppl would just give me $20 angpao each. as you know... i'm not just any girl who'll be satisfied with This Fashion or even Dano formal wear, so kindly contribute to the janet's attachment attire funds. thank you very much. haha.

btw the suit that i was talking about.... $240. haha. Zara! saw soooooo many pants from there that i'd love to own. hmmmm... i used to think that wearing mini skirt is the only way to look sexy. i was so damn wrong. i'm in love with pants now. dont think i'd be getting any skirts for my attachments. in fact i've already gotten a few pairs of pants.

sigh... gtg. chaoz.

18th January 06, Wednesday 11:48pm

my mom ironed the uniform for me and its hanging on the cupboard right now. i even had the tie around the collar. the only thing that is lacking is the badge which i am going to get from vik. every now and then when i turn my head around, there's this rush in me wanting to put on the uniform and be back in my secondary years.

depression is setting in when school work is too much to be handled. there's one presentation tmr and i'm so not ready for it yet. more group discussions and projects to do. executive summaries... omg. i can die. i dont wanna live! i'm breaking apart.

18th January 06, Wednesday 12:25am

i'm not surprised that things didnt go as planned. its always like this. somehow/ somewhere things will just go quite the opposite way. and in case you think that i'm badly disturbed by this whole event... no i'm not. i'm coming into terms with plans screwing up on me. in fact, i was telling my friends that when i want something badly, the chances of me getting it are barely minimal. just like the ipod lucky draw, i wasnt even close to getting it! if i have a choice to choose between getting an ipod and being in an optimal group for my bm214 class, i'd definitely choose the latter. reason being... firstly, those of you who are close to me you should know. secondly, the thought of having to work with these new ppl is excruciatingly unbearable. i'm not saying that i'm smart or hardworking... its so difficult to work with somebody who is (in this case it is 2 of them) of a different frequency. it is even harder to work with them, when half the time they didnt know what was going on and you have to explain to them. i thought i was already bad with my work, to think that someone worse off than me exists... i'm surprised.

if i do badly for a particular project and it was done with dearie, i'll just accept the result. i wouldn't complain cos i know we would have put in the best effort. its just a different experience...

call me a bitch... if i do badly for 214, i'd fucking curse the both of them. it seems like i have to worry for them and probably i'd have to do more to cover their fucking asses. if you peeps know me well enough, i'm not the kind who will call others stupid and mean it. cos i trully believe that those who can be in a university, there must be something in them. i was this close to branding them stupid! argh. can you imagine what i was feeling and going through!?! and for god sake!!!! if you dare not speak up, don fucking choose marketing! if you cant even communicate with an exchange student from europe, i suggest that you do something about it! fuck!!! i was shocked when she came up to me and expected me to understand or even find the humour in her statement. "haha... i dont even know what she was talking about... she talk so fast" do let me clearify, lauren spoke perfectly alright! what?! she expected us to discuss in chinese?! was it fia or dearie who asked me to be the interpreter?! thanx ar! terrible groupmates.

had i turned around and asked to be in some other group!!!!! you bet i'd be jumping up and down now rejoicing!

16th January 06, Monday 9:17pm

i've made up my mind that for chinese new year i'll come back to singapore earlier than planned. its not like i have a choice not to. earlier on i was contemplating because i donno what i'll do if i were to come home by myself. but now i have to cos i have school, moreover there's a BM215 project presentation that i have to do on thursday. my mom is having a headache getting the train tix for me. apparently the tickets have been sold out months ago. edward was lucky enough to get one for the monday's night train. my mom said if there's really no other choice, then i'd follow my brother back... i'd just bribe the ticket checker. ;P

am going to buy BM214 and BM213 textbooks. gosh... $100 gone just like that. freaking 213 text is so expensive.

speaking of $100, i saw this pair of pretty esprit pants which cost $99.90! i'd love to own it! the cutting fits me just oh so perfectly!!! please please please... esprit... its time for a sale. hehe.

am procrascinating. tons of tutorials and readings to do... oh well... there's still time.

15th January 06, Sunday 11:34pm

i hope you peeps have noticed that i added this hug counter on the so call front page of my blog. dont ask me why i did that cos i kinda regret putting it up now. i first saw it on fia's blog and i thought it was quite cute to have one on my blog too. fia and i have this little fetish over kiss counting lately. so feel free to send me hugs ok... if i happened to be feeling blue/down, maybe the hugs that you send would cheer me up. : )

i wanted to upload new photos in my friendster account but the server was down and i cant access it! so irritating! argh.

can anyone please tell me that i am just being oversensitive. i wish that i'm not feeling this way. i'll disappear from your sight, if you just tell me that i am irritating. argh.

tmr is the start of a brand new week and i am going to do everything to just make it a happy one for me. finish my summary by tmr (hopefully) and i'll go sun tanning in sentosa on wednesday.. that is if mr sun is kind to show his ass. and i am going to enjoy tutorial lessons... and lectures... yes lectures. the only time when shilei and i (perhaps only me) can go gaga over "*******" (feel free to fill in the blank).

14th January 06, Saturday 10:52pm

i woke up at 3 plus, saw the sun was out, changed into my bikini, packed my bag and was out of the house within minutes. 15min later i was back home. fucking weather. it was cloudy again when i reached the interchange.

14th January 06, Saturday 2:41am

fia fia said that i had a nice hair day today. so i looked pretty cool and shuai. that's needless to say. hehe. i like this pic. check out the fringe. just love the way it flows to the right.


side view by xh's phone.


semi side view by fia fia's phone.
take note of the resolution. pretty different huh. time to change phone liao... haha.
anyway i felt like a model. cos both of them couldnt stop playing with their cameras.


my lovely darling laopo suddenly pounced onto me. pardon her hair. she was supposed to wear a wig. haha. me--> the butch. she--> the femme.


in the car. no hanky panky but just plain photo taking...


the kuku me and siao siao her.


"the sky is falling" (quote chicken little)

the sun was finally out this morning when i woke up. was so thrilled that i put my bikini in my bag without much consideration. even if i'm going to tan at the pool by myself, i woundnt give a damn about it. simply because i need the tan damn badly. unfortunately, it seemed like mr. sun was playing a joke on me. when lesson ended at 230 for me, the sky turned cloudy.

damn it. i really hate it when i want something badly and i cant have it.

anyway xh called and we went town with fia fia. as you can see... we've been taking photos the whole afternoon in paragon (coffee club). the outing was pretty crappy but fun.

when suan came to joing xh and i, we, or perhaps i should say I, decided to take neo-prints. it has been quite sometime since the last time we "played" with the machine. and..my gosh... you have no idea how advance technology is nowadays... the neo print machines are soooooooo different from the old ones. every single one of them has different theme. there is one with cushion seat in it and this other one with poles... omg.. of cos all instructions are in japanese. so we had no idea what was going on most of the time. we just went ahead with our gut feelings. shall upload the photos once suan is done with the scanning. by the way it cost me 10 buckies for those photos! nevertheless, it was a fun experience worth the money : )

12th January 06, Thursday 10:21pm

today has been a terrible day though nothing bad collided head-on to me.

first on the list was that fucking bastard pravin. in fact lets just tag that whole mother fucker group the worst bastardS that i have ever seen in my past 21 years of life. they are indecisive, scheming, disgusting, irritating etc. the thought of them just boils my blood. it has been a very long time since the last time i felt this anger in me. if i have any proof that they did, in fact, plan this whole thing, i'd just walk up to them and yell at them. just fuck and curse them all. i cant believe that i'm still fuming mad and its almost impossible for me to cool down. argh! KNNBCCB!!!

i'm warning you ppl dont step on my tail for the next one week. i'm in a foul mood.

everything is not going on as smooth as i planned. i should be happy that dearie is doing almost all the classes with me. and after 5 years, i'm finally going to attend class with fia. shouldnt i be happy?! nope not at all. cos of all the bastards.

i should be happy that 215 wasnt boring and the tutor was really nice.however, i must mention that there are tons of work to do for this module. i'm already quite stressed with it(maybe that's why i'm in a foul mood) i should feel a little bit better cos 214 lec wasnt as dead as i thought it was. in fact, i did enjoy today's lecture. malay was really like what i have expected. i need to consistently remind myself to lie low. actually i planned to skip most of the lessons, but since fia is doing it too, i might as well accompany her.

the weather is still cold. i cant take it anymore.

any sad song is going to make cry at this very second. i dont understand why people like them exist. if only i learn to take it easy then i wont be feeling this bad. if its so hard to make all these bastards and bitches disappear, then let me vanish into the thin air. i'm just tired. so sick of ppl screwing my fucking life. like i havent screwed it enough! i dont know why i'm taking it soooo personally... i'm really sorry dearie. i bet you must be feeling twice the anger, probably even more.

arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!

can anyone tell me how not to be so angry?! if only i'm at the beach, then i'd yell the hell out of me. i wanna punch someone! i thought only sadness will make someone cry. but anger has that kinda effect on me too.

11th January 06, Wednesday 10:31pm

quite cool isnt it?

i'm really sick of rainy days. when i have school to attend or work to do in citibank, its not a blessing at all if the day is gloomy, rainy and cold! i wouldnt mind if its on a sunday or even over the weekend. cos i can hibernate at home, in my room, on my bed. besides having to worry that i might get drenched in the rain, the weather is definitely affecting my mood. it makes me sad.

i missed tabtv. thought this week's topic on the mutilator was pretty interesting. too bad that i didnt get to watch it. nontheless, i managed to get a sneak preview for next week's topic which is about a boy being brought up as a girl. can anyone imagine him attending a girl school?! my gosh. i wonder how the parents did it. its really absurb! its a must watch for next week's tv programmes. hehe.

i'm still not in the school mood yet. it seems as though i've lost my momentum which is worrying. half the time or rather three quarter of the time, i dont know what is going on. perhaps its due to the public holidays. lectures and tutorials were canceled and rescheduled. so technically, i only attended 2 days of school when its already the second week. so, i shouldnt let my paranoia take control of me right if only i can convince myself with that. the marketing modules are so dull! there's this lecturer who just went on and on and on... making sure that he left nothing out. for god sake, its brand management! why cant he inject some humour or at least some kinda interesting activity... or i donno... make the class more lifely!!!BM214 marketing communication...urgh! how i wish all lecturers from hongkong are like cindy chung. why?! why?! shouldnt marketing be interesting?!!!! why am i doubting my ability to well now? they really should make us copy notes you know (the way cindy chung did). so ppl will just shut up and listen. and the lecturers dont have to keep asking the class to be quiet or leave the LT.

argh. school. you hate it when you're in it and miss it when you're not.

10th January 06, Tuesday 1:59pm

to be a guiding light, set the future shinning bright...

yiqi set up a class blog recently. i just visited it and am surprised by the song that she attached to the blog. i donno where she got the choir version of our college song... but it's really meaningful and touching. still i prefer CHAPTER NEXT! that's my favourite. i'd cry if you play that song for me. so babe would you kindly search for that song. hehe.

lotsa memories are gushing into my head now. you know ppl always say that they wish to turn back time so that they can relive their life. i wish for that too. i'd tune it back to pj years cos i've left my happiest and saddest moments in that two compounds.

too afraid to grow, yet i have no choice. the days pass by almost quite dully.... for tonight the only thing that cheer me up is the school song.

9th January 06, Monday 5:13pm

i really felt like chopping off my hair this morning. no matter how hard i tried to make it fall in place, it just wouldnt listen. not that it had ears to. but basically it was just another bad hair day. going to school with a bush hair detered me from using my brain! haha. so i chatted with xinyi and dearie through out my 214 and 213 lectures. it was until she walked in... omg. i can never understand why her hair could be gel-ed that way. i was kinda jealous that she could make her hair look sooooooo cool when it's longer than mine. why?!

so, determined to get rid of my bush i went to sandstorm with shilei after school. was apprehensive how my new haircut would turn out to be. anyhow... i went ahead telling the stylist that i want it short enough to be spiked up and the side long enough to please my mama. after 10 minutes of snipping, honestly, i was really (x3) worried. i was so sure that my mom would scream her lungs out at me cos i told May(my hairstylist) that i was kinda sick of the old hair style. it'd be best if she could just cut away my long side to make both sides even. and indeed she did what i told her to. so the outcome of the whole session was a super short haircut. done. still... i am happy with it. i realised nowadays i have a fetish for short haircut. it really elates me to see different kinds of short hair that i can try on me. anyhow, feeling proud of my deed, i called xh and told her about it. of cos she was shocked. nontheless, she doubt the shortness of my hair, as i've told her before my mom would kill me if i cut my hair before cny. oh coincidently, she cut her hair too... haha. but i'm sure mine is shorter... nenenebubu. haha.

upon reaching home. i tried to lie low, knowing very well that no matter how low i go, it wouldnt save me from burning my ass. i saw the i-give-up look on my mom's face. (oppsy) surprisingly, even with that look on her face, she told me that my new hair cut looks nice on me. very cool indeed. hahaha.

i would certainly like a sun tanning session for this week. even with so much free time, i look as though i've been hiding indoors for months. actually, as a matter of fact, i have been staying indoors. i dont have a choice! the weather is so bad lately. its either raining or raining or raining. when it doesnt, it's cloudy! mr sun has gone somewhere for vacation or is on strike. either one, he has deprived me from a nice bronze tan. sob sob. as a result of my deprivation, someone said i dont look as good as i used to be. how sad! my self-confidence was almost shattered when someone else said that i had a tweety bird hair before my haircut. so sickening.

i had a strange dream. it felt so real and yet i know it wasnt. shilei said it was creepy. that adjective had never crossed my mind though. maybe i should just let it go, afterall it was just a dream. what's the point of pondering over it again and again.

9th January 06, Monday 12:54am

so provocative! i like. actually i have this other one with 2 girls kissing each other... that's like my favourite. i thought i'd take one of that kind next time when i have a chance to. i mean me kissing my girlfriend! my girly girlfriend. the thought of doing so is pretty erotic i must say. i wouldnt mind if my girl friend is prettier than me. in fact i'd love to have a stunning, earth-wrecking gorgeous girlfriend. hmmm.... fantasies... they truly turn me on. hehe :P

anyhow that aside. i've been scrutinizing myself in the mirror, my photos etc. i'm still wondering which part of me spells skinny. not that anyone had actually told me that i am. but the phrase "lost weigh" has surfaced more than just a handful of times. the truth is i still weigh the same. damn it. the nurse in the dental clinic passed that remark to me and i went "huh". i'm not sure whether i should celebrate and rejoice over it or what. i know i used to think that it'd be great to reach 48kg. however, the thought was thrown away some time back when i realised how awful one could look when he/she is skinny! i'm not going to be the naive girl who wants to weigh less than half a hundred of kilo anymore. i've been thinking or rather close to planning to go to the school gym once a week so that i can work for my little abs and toned arms. hehe... a pair of sexy lean legs would be a bonus.

so even if i have a girlfriend who's more gorgoeus than me, at least i have a sexy worth-dying for body. *wink*

9th January 06, Monday 12:40am

three bracies in the thump thump pack... be proud of the metals!

please ignore the hand. the only reason why i posted this is because i think i look CUTE!

my girlfriend and i

that smile of mine simply just brightened anyone's life, doesnt it?
admit it! i'm cute. period.

my boyfriend and i

the ttp in my boyfriends room. and the queen is on the blue chair. *wink*

the ttp girls. not in full attendence though.
check out my cool hair from the back.

i just realised why its a dog jelly. so cute isnt it? well its in 10 stomachs now.

the potluck food. that big pot was contributed by me. effort by my mom.

7th January 06, Saturday 11:07pm

i'm dead tired after a day out with my mama. she woke me up at freaking 10:30 in the morning to go shopping with her when i was only in bed by 4plus?! errrrrrr.... i was sooooo grouchy that i nagged at her for the first time. anyway things started to turn a little better as the day went on. the lack of sleep that dampened my mood was lifted away when i reached town. everything went well... and especially well when i added a pair of m)phosis pants to my collection. *wink*

cant wait to get my pay so that i can go for a shopping spree. hiak hiak hiak. saw soooooo many things that i wanna buy. i'm in desperate need for shopping therapy. shall i list out the things that i want for a brand new 2006?!!

a pair of birkenstock
a pair of levis' jeans (i still have the $60 voucher)
more m)phosis
zara (having sales now)
a new bag for cny
my spex from spectacles' hut (though i've gotten one recently)
contact lens (from citisquare RM50 only!!!)
preferbly a pair of sneakers (i need to hide my ugly toe nail)

oh and a hair cut SOON like next week. i bribed my mom with a day of shopping in town. in the end she permited me for my visit to sandstorm. good news isnt it? i know i promised her that i wont cut my hair until cny is over. as she doesnt want my aunties to see me in short hair... lame excuse. anyhow... this morning i saw the perfect opportunity to bring it up to her... haha. i totally cant stand my freaking bushy hair now!!! i'm practically having bad hair day almost every single day. argh... so yeap... sandstorm here i come!

by the way i bumped into tabitha, layteng and huixian in town. ; )

oh i almost forgot about this. my mom and i went to watch a play by sim and some theater group in asian civilisation museum. my mama was totally zoned out for the first part cos she didnt understand what was going on neither could i. i only managed to catch a glimpse here and there... as in the understanding part. well to be honest, i only understand what damien said on stage... as for those clips and movement... they were just as good as not being presented. and this other girl... my mom said she was pretty redundant as all that she did was moving around curtseying. though i am no artsy-fartsy-know-it-all, i do know that every single actor/actress is important on stage. and each movement means something... i tried to explain to my mom. whether she took it or not, i do not know. anyway, the second and third part were the only parts that my mom enjoyed. me too. i found it pretty entertaining and they made so much sense(with the help of my humble sociology background). i wanna do sociology again.. probably next sem cos this sem is really not the right time.

i'm off now. chaoz.

7th January 06, Saturday 2:38am

the day went by quite meaninglessly though i tried my best not to feel aimless. maybe i tried too hard or maybe i'm just scared of desolation.

non the less good things still happen in my life. for example, char and jy had supper with me just now. and by mere coincidence we bumped into this small butch whom i vividly recall commenting that she looks like A. heard from char that she withdrew from school and i supposed something awful must have had happened to her cos she is now working in the coffee shop. i feel terrible for accompanying char to the counter to get her coffee. can you imagine how embarrassing it was for her (small butch). not that working in a coffee shop is an improper job like prostitution. but you get what i mean dont you?! i presume that normal teenager, with a sane mind undernormal circumstances, would most likely work in a well to do restaurant instead of a koufu. so why is she serving coffee there?! it really puzzles me. so am i supposed to still patronise koufu as usual and keep bumping into her to make her feel more miserable or should i just avoid that place? sigh. perhaps i've think too much.

anyhow, moving on.... i'm going to finish this story book that has taken me almost a week or so to finish on. sad to say i'm still not done with it. cos i only read it on my way to work and back. what's more... the first few chapters of the book was enough to kill me until the later part which, by then, i have already gained the momentum to carry on... like now.

chaoz.

5th January 06, Thursday 11:15pm

i've got to blog this cos i think its quite funny. i logged onto my fridae account and saw someone added me as his/her friend. so i got quite excited. i mean who wouldnt? so i clicked on it, hoping to see a picture of a cute butch... since the nick is vInt!!!! quite cool right? and pretty attention seeking too. but sad to say, the minute i saw the picture of VINT, i was thinking.... "WHAT THE HELL IS SHE DOING IN FRIDAE!!!!!!" nevertheless, i accepted her as my friend. whether she's as straight as the netball pole, crooked or bisexual... whatever lah... i dont care! cos bottom line is she's my friend since eon years ago.

after work i rushed down to town to meet jace. luckily i was earlier than her. went borders to get my organiser. omg... the organisers there were a rip off! kns can you imagine paying $19 for one? some even cost as much as $29.90!!!! i almost fainted. jace advised me to get it from taka basement 1. upon leaving, we came to this shelf full of "assignments journal". what the hell is that?!(organisers too -_-") and suddenly jace remembered there's this corner selling all these calender thingy. so we went over and did a search. and yeah yeah... i got mine! so cool. bet dearie is gonna like it! its $23.95 ok! haha no lah. i got it for $12 only cos of the 50% discount.

i had this big mutton murtabak for dinner. it was like HUGE lah. while eating, jace and i were talking about clubbing and i found out that bitch went to thumper when she was 19!!!! i was fuck jealous. W-H-A-T!!!! i didnt even know its existent when i was 19. i only knew about the zouk les party and madmonks. that was like how pathetic!!!! eeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwww. shitty ass... that girl looks like the nicest, guai-est student on earth but deep down she's quite the opposite! was asking her how the hell did we get so close since i never did speak a word to her in school. not even one sylabus. she always pulled xh to all the house meetings... and amazingly she's much closer to me than to xh. weird isnt it? anyhow, i'm glad that we still meet up occasionally.

4th January 06, Wednesday 9:17pm

Good things should just keep coming my way.

since the begining of school, i just got this peculiar feeling that i'll be attending the same tutorial class as her. and YES indeed i am! will be seeing her in my BM214 tutorial!!!! yippee yeah yeah. am so excited for next week's tutorial. wah if she's in the class alone ah.... that will be just great! i'd volunteer to be her class buddy. hahahahahahahaha... (building gigantic castle in the air now...)

oh btw... i logged into dearie's edventure to check whether she's in dearie's AA102 tutorial class or not. if she is, i might just forego my morning sleep for the next 13 weeks just to be in their class. hahaa. luckily or not, she's not in dearie's class. i guess i'd just stick to my own. bleah.

and i have no fucking idea why yingzi and eugene are always in my classes. they like jinx stick to my ass man.

4th January 06, Wednesday 2:04pm

2006 is going to be an important year for me. why? cos i'm removing my braces at the end of the year! though its another 12 mths that means at least $1200 gone, i'm sooooooo looking foward to spending that amount of money. haha. cant wait to get those metals off. i was looking at all the photos of me initially putting on my braces to those recent one... the gradual improvement of my teeth was so obvious.

the days w/o braces. awfully ugly.

first few days with the metal on. miserably painful. (check out the dry lips)

couple of months later. grossly disfigured.

as time passed. look at that! amazingly different. *wink*

btw those were just half a year of difference. can you imagine what's it like now?! and 12 months later?!? yeah yeah yeah... i'm gonna be a chiobu. hehe. nope. i'm going to be a diva since i'm a chiobu now. *wink wink wink*

went to sch for the first lecture yesterday. it was boring as usual. its accounting II lecture, one cant ask for more out of it. so i was just day dreaming all the way. that hongkee lecturer tried his best to crack a few jokes here and there but we were not paying attention at all! what a waste of my time.

after lecture, shilei and i went to jp to get something. and i bought my spex. woohoo. pretty funky and it only cost me $66 (after deductiong $100 from the voucher that shilei passed to me). how cheap. but i'm still going to get the one that i really like from marina. hehe. that pair costs $150. which is very cheap as compared to the first two that my mom bought. do you know that i cant even buy the spex that i'm wearing now with the combine amount that i spend on these 2 spex?

2nd December 06, Monday 9:44pm

i'm deprived of sleep. been coming home late and sleeping late of cos. errr... no. more like sleeping very early in the morning at 6. i'm so sleepy that i ought to be in bed snoring away. but no. i wont give up project runway for sleep. actually project runway is not a must catch cos it is no where compare to America next top model (which by the way, KIM rocks!) its just that today is the final episode and its right before grey's anatomy. the show that i really wanna watch. ya da ya da... gotta go sch tmr. luckily its a 1230 lecture. woohoo...

went town to meet karen cos i needed to pass her her bday present. thank god she likes it.

i love LEE XUN HUI. haha... that girl is full of surprises. and currently she has something that i want! woohooo... i'm going to chase after her, pin her on the bed/ against the wall... and the rest is up to your imagination. ohhhhhhhh....

2nd January 06, Monday 4:27am

im simply exhilarated. why? cos i received the best present for year 2006 on the first two days of the new year.

the potluck party at mund's place was a commendable celebration to mark a new start for 2006. the theme was YELLOW thanx to bx. (like what the?!! yellow? the first thought that came to my mind was--> omg i pictured 10 bananas. followed by yellow yellow dirty fellow....)not everyone turned up with yellow. yes... there had to be those few who just couldnt sync in with the rest.

 

and then boyfriend started addressing me as girlfriend... haha.. that was how sweet cos i remember the last time he wasnt that nice. always finding fault with me. thank god the attention was diverted to poor yeling (or has it always been that way?! oops) and eileen (cos she wasnt in YELLOW. legitimate reason for being fired at). the whole gathering that he hosted made me understand that he was right. that i am not casted away. i could be part of it all though not everyone had a common topic of conversation. but at least ppl tried their best not to leave me alone at one corner.

the night took a swift turn when i went online and jace talked to me. it was an evil coincidence. however, even if it was so, as cliche as this sounds, it happened for a reason which the following paragraph would disclose.

the mahjong session which i had been enthusiastically anticipating for earlier on was canceled due to poor respond. fia was too tired. boyfriend was like just waiting to go bowling with his other friends, i supposed. that bx's mind was somewhere else in yishun. as for munhoe... just say that 2 kakis cant make up a full mahjong game. anyway, after the conversation with jace i was not in the mood to play anymore. since i missed the last train, i called up who else but my chauffeur. nah i wasnt that mean!!! the main reason was i wanted to talk to her. and thank god she was free to meet up with me. fia tagged along cos she wanted a free ride home but it turned out that she followed us all the way to somerset's coffee club.(how contradicting cos i thought fia said she was tired! hmmmm she just couldnt resist my bb's charm. *kidding*) we talked about anything but nonsensical stuff for hours. it was the coolest night out with both of them. it was only then that i felt that i've gotten back what i thought i had lost. my precious friendships with my close ttp and my bb. what brought it back was honesty, care and love that i have for the both of them.

on the way home, i felt so blissful to be blessed with them. i could not have asked for more for that moment. never had i felt that friendships could surpass a romantic relationship but at that instant, i was proven wrong. perhaps it was because i once thought that i had lost my bb and my ties with fia. it was as though nothing could ever bring back the closeness and joy that i once had with them. and tonight marked a brand new beginning for me.

so happy am i that i think i might have sweet dreams later.

chaoz.

1st January 06, Sunday 5:51pm

2006 new year resolutions:

the top of the list will be, of cos, none other than my mama. i wanna learn to have more tolerance for her. sometimes i'm disgusted with my own short temper. i know its really hurtful for her whenever i raise my voice at her. even though after the whole incident i let her know i did it cos i was very irritated with her. irritation does not justify my rudeness. so this coming new year, i'm still gonna work hard to build a stronger mother-daughter relationship with her. i'd accompany her more often. probably a shopping session in town once a month, we can always have our high tea there too. i look forward to attending beegees concert with her (though i have no idea when). i told her i really regreted not watching robin gibb's performance. she assured me that robin promised to bring his brother along for the next concert. that's a very pleasant news for my mom and i. hehe. anyway, side track a little, i found a way to irritate my mom. :P whenever i mention that two words, three sylabus, she'd be damn irritated with me. i just couldn't help it cos i enjoyed every single bit of thrill that i gained whenever i mentioned those two words. its really hilarious to see her expression. she tried so hard to be indifferent yet she failed miserably cos i could see that she was at the edge of stomping the ground, stepping her own feet. *evil laughter echoing in the room*

my brothers: honestly i cant think of anything to do with edward. maybe that's the problem. the both of us are so independent that we can hardly find any time or thing to do together. perhaps a dinner with each other would be good. as for edwin, it'll still be the same as last year. i'd try my very very best not to be mean to him!!!

piggy doggy group: i wanna spend more quality time with you ppl.
especially xh. i'm upset that we are no longer that close. i miss the time when we were inseperable. sometimes i find it hard to be honest with you too. i dont want us to be just a pair of proximity friends. to me, you are my best friend. you have always been there when i needed you most and i want to do the same for you too. my heart aches whenever i feel that we are drifting apart. so this coming new year, i'm going to try my best to stick to you like a bubble gum!
suan, more supper with you. hehe. you've been a great friend.
yirang, hey maybe we can watch worldcup together like how we used to. :P
shijia, need to meet up with you more often. we only see each other once in a blue moon.

thump thump gang: i'm really sorry that i've neglected you peeps the past year. we'll organise more gatherings and i'll turn up. i guess i'll have to start from showing my face for everyone's 21st bithday this year. :)

karen and yiqi: what happened to our dinner gathering? time to bring it back.

dearies: it has really been something for 2005. happy and unhappy. whatever it is, i look forward to a brand new year spend with both of you. remember we said we'll have sun tanning session in sentosa as and when we can? it'll still be on for this year k. we'll make march 11, 2005(the very sentosay day sun tanning day) not just a history that we can only look back and reminisce. no it wont be that way, if we work hard together. =)

i'm gonna work hard for my honours. more A's for this coming years. better still if i can get it for all more cores. its going to be my main focus for this brand new year. PA is gonna be interesting since its my first time. less whingning for school work cos i'm gonna learn to enjoy every single moment that i have in school before i graduate and enter the working world which i really dread and detest.

i have to make an effort to be more physically active. once a week netball training is not gonna be enough for me. probably i'd go for late night jogging with suan and yirang and swimming with dearie. a healthy lifestyle means a non-boring one. *wink*

i'm still gonna be a happy girl for 2006.