i've made up my mind to spare myself from being broke. i need to learn how to manage my money properly. so no shopping spree for me during this GSS. but then again... it would be good if i can buy a pair of shades, this esprit black jacket and CK cologne (crave, omg you'd be surprise how nice it is lah... and i've been using it since the day i discover it in my bag. haha apparently edward had accidentally left it there)
argh.. this is killing me... sales is everywhere and yet i must control my "natural instinct".
two more days to go...
Monday, May 29, 2006
Sunday, May 28, 2006
28th May 06, Sunday 11:42pm
i saw the photos dearie posted on her blog. they are really nice! i notice that my teeth is so much straighter now. comparing my current photos with the old ones, one can spot the great difference. the old one is pretty but the current one is gorgeous. haha. anyway my dentist told me not be surprise if fia gets her braces taken off before i do. my bottom teeth is really moving very slowly. well to be honest, i wont be surprise if that's the case. however, if erin were to take hers off before me, i'd seriously be damn freaking upset with my own progression. it really shows how slow my teeth are moving. i cant wait to get the metals off my teeth... but oh well... the good things are worth waiting for...
baby called! at 9:30pm all the way from korea. was thrilled that she called. eventhough it was just for two and a half min. i only managed to tell her my adventure at the nie pool. and all that i got from her was to stop my mischief and take care of myself. boohoohoo. she'll be back on wed and i cant wait. haha. i plan to buy her dinner when i get my first attachment paycheck. hmmm probably we can have seafood at big O or manhattan fish market. im so looking forward to her coming back and me getting my pay. ok i know its crazy but.. yea i'm excited cos its the first time that i'll be paying for our dinner. haha.
i had a terrible stomachache just now. lao sai and lao sai non stop. for a min i wish i was dead. i almost wanted to call the ambulance. oh my god. no more tummy upset for me please.
baby called! at 9:30pm all the way from korea. was thrilled that she called. eventhough it was just for two and a half min. i only managed to tell her my adventure at the nie pool. and all that i got from her was to stop my mischief and take care of myself. boohoohoo. she'll be back on wed and i cant wait. haha. i plan to buy her dinner when i get my first attachment paycheck. hmmm probably we can have seafood at big O or manhattan fish market. im so looking forward to her coming back and me getting my pay. ok i know its crazy but.. yea i'm excited cos its the first time that i'll be paying for our dinner. haha.
i had a terrible stomachache just now. lao sai and lao sai non stop. for a min i wish i was dead. i almost wanted to call the ambulance. oh my god. no more tummy upset for me please.
28th May 06, Sunday 4:44pm
Adventure of my life:
Dearie and i decided to go swimming in nie yesterday, thinking that the pool would be opened. unfortunately, it wasnt so. too lazy to walked or even to take a bus to src, we made a decision to climb over the fence and take advantage of the clean, free of crowd pool. haha. it was so easy. but damn! after less than 10 min in the pool, this indian female security stood outside the fence and shouted, "the two girls in there, get out of the pool now!" haha. i just laughed my ass off while climbing out of the pool. on the other hand, dearie was quite worried that the female guard would copy down our names and report us to whoever. i was like "what are they going to do to us? kick us out of the school?!" anyway... i told her that they might publish it in the chronicle when school reopens. headline on the front page "TWO GIRLS CLIMBED OVER THE FENCE JUST TO SWIM IN THE POOL IN THEIR BIKINIS" haha.
then the guard shouted, "i give you all 5min to get into your clothes!" fuck la. 5min?! siao. so we just put on our bottoms and climbed over the fence again. hahahaa. it was really hilarious. cos the guard asked us how we got in. so we just show her how we did it lor. and we walked from nie pool to src in our bikini tops! haha. and maybe the chronicle's headline would go "GIRLS PARADING IN THEIR BIKINIS DURING HOLS." haha.
ya.. it was all fun. cos work has drawn our sanity away from us.
Dearie and i decided to go swimming in nie yesterday, thinking that the pool would be opened. unfortunately, it wasnt so. too lazy to walked or even to take a bus to src, we made a decision to climb over the fence and take advantage of the clean, free of crowd pool. haha. it was so easy. but damn! after less than 10 min in the pool, this indian female security stood outside the fence and shouted, "the two girls in there, get out of the pool now!" haha. i just laughed my ass off while climbing out of the pool. on the other hand, dearie was quite worried that the female guard would copy down our names and report us to whoever. i was like "what are they going to do to us? kick us out of the school?!" anyway... i told her that they might publish it in the chronicle when school reopens. headline on the front page "TWO GIRLS CLIMBED OVER THE FENCE JUST TO SWIM IN THE POOL IN THEIR BIKINIS" haha.
then the guard shouted, "i give you all 5min to get into your clothes!" fuck la. 5min?! siao. so we just put on our bottoms and climbed over the fence again. hahahaa. it was really hilarious. cos the guard asked us how we got in. so we just show her how we did it lor. and we walked from nie pool to src in our bikini tops! haha. and maybe the chronicle's headline would go "GIRLS PARADING IN THEIR BIKINIS DURING HOLS." haha.
ya.. it was all fun. cos work has drawn our sanity away from us.
Friday, May 26, 2006
26th May 06, Friday 9:44pm
i try to be indifferent. worked my ass off for the past few days since its GSS period. be(actually i am) super excited about my up coming projects. i know they will keep me busy for the next two weeks or i hope so. anyway, i always reach the office 5 to 10 minutes early. and the earliest time that i left the office was 6:15 when i'm supposed to knock off at 6. see... i'm pretty much preoccupied with my work.
but i cant help feeling a tinch of ache in my heart. like now. i wish i could be at the airport. i want to be there so badly to send her off, to give her a hug or something. unfortunately, i cant. her flight is at 1am. the cab fare back home at midnight would cost me a bomb.
maybe it wont be that bad after all. i can cope with all these.
attachment is really fun. trust me. if not i wouldnt have willingly added ot everyday.
my up coming projects:
1.) to set up a membership programme.
2.) to do a focus group study on the generation y.
3.) to set up a tertiary endorser programme. (my favourite)
i've told my gm, byron that i am more than willing to extend my internship and perhaps when school reopen, i'll still go back as a part timer to continue with my tertiary endorser project. cos it'll officially launch in september. the excitment that i have is unexplainable. when others asked me bout my attachment, all i could tell them was that i'm just lucky to have this internship. to have such good colleagues and an understanding gm. he's willing to teach me. to trust me and believe in me. sometimes even i myself doubt my own ability. but he seems to have much more faith in me than myself.
there's so much more to talk bout my internship... but my mind seems to be in the east.
but i cant help feeling a tinch of ache in my heart. like now. i wish i could be at the airport. i want to be there so badly to send her off, to give her a hug or something. unfortunately, i cant. her flight is at 1am. the cab fare back home at midnight would cost me a bomb.
maybe it wont be that bad after all. i can cope with all these.
attachment is really fun. trust me. if not i wouldnt have willingly added ot everyday.
my up coming projects:
1.) to set up a membership programme.
2.) to do a focus group study on the generation y.
3.) to set up a tertiary endorser programme. (my favourite)
i've told my gm, byron that i am more than willing to extend my internship and perhaps when school reopen, i'll still go back as a part timer to continue with my tertiary endorser project. cos it'll officially launch in september. the excitment that i have is unexplainable. when others asked me bout my attachment, all i could tell them was that i'm just lucky to have this internship. to have such good colleagues and an understanding gm. he's willing to teach me. to trust me and believe in me. sometimes even i myself doubt my own ability. but he seems to have much more faith in me than myself.
there's so much more to talk bout my internship... but my mind seems to be in the east.
Wednesday, May 17, 2006
17th May 06, Wednesday 10:36pm
she's still in the office at this hour... sigh what more can i say? workaholic? sigh. i cant believe that i'm actually seeing a workaholic. damn.
one more piece of watermelon and i'm off to bed.
i'll immerse myself in my work too.
one more piece of watermelon and i'm off to bed.
i'll immerse myself in my work too.
Sunday, May 14, 2006
14th May 06, Sunday 5:17pm
finally the long weekend is coming to an end. i've been sleeping alot... woke up at 11 plus and back to bed at 2 continue my sleeping adventure to 6plus. pretty amazing huh? well at least i think so.
so far my days in bodynits have been great. the people there are not as unfriendly as i thought they would be. to my surprise, they are very eager to teach me. everyday my head is saturated with tons of marketing knowledge. so yea... at this point in time i'm looking forward to work even though i have to wake up at 6 and be in the office by 830. sometimes i wonder how i manage to stand the fact that everyday i'll go to work when the sky is dark and be back at boonlay when the sky is dark again. argh... its not until friday that i get to see the sun shinning brightly on my small little estate. anyhow..i'm having problem filling up that bloody elog book thing. seriously, i think it just doesnt make sense. cos not every work place or every project that we do can be written down in words. so easy meh? try this--> wed and thurs, i've been stamping almost 10,000 sheets of vouchers. and mind you each sheet, i was supposed to stamp 3 times (cos 1 A4 size paper has got 3 vouchers). can anyone tell me how to write it in my logbook? what's the experience like? like shit hell... the exprience was good??? cos i get to work out my arm muscle? what have i learn? its just not relevant lah... argh. i hate ntu's system.
i'm hungry and my mom isnt cooking cos she's mad at me. bleah. i'm too tired to be bothered with her. in fact i'm kinda tired to be bothered with anyone.
one thing about this holiday i like best is i get to travel from boonlay to tanah merah.. haha you got me right. either i'll slp in the train or i'll read. been reading quite abit. and i like that. shall talk abit more about the books that have been keeping me busy(body mind and spiritually) hahahaha... another time perhaps.
im fucking hungry now.
so far my days in bodynits have been great. the people there are not as unfriendly as i thought they would be. to my surprise, they are very eager to teach me. everyday my head is saturated with tons of marketing knowledge. so yea... at this point in time i'm looking forward to work even though i have to wake up at 6 and be in the office by 830. sometimes i wonder how i manage to stand the fact that everyday i'll go to work when the sky is dark and be back at boonlay when the sky is dark again. argh... its not until friday that i get to see the sun shinning brightly on my small little estate. anyhow..i'm having problem filling up that bloody elog book thing. seriously, i think it just doesnt make sense. cos not every work place or every project that we do can be written down in words. so easy meh? try this--> wed and thurs, i've been stamping almost 10,000 sheets of vouchers. and mind you each sheet, i was supposed to stamp 3 times (cos 1 A4 size paper has got 3 vouchers). can anyone tell me how to write it in my logbook? what's the experience like? like shit hell... the exprience was good??? cos i get to work out my arm muscle? what have i learn? its just not relevant lah... argh. i hate ntu's system.
i'm hungry and my mom isnt cooking cos she's mad at me. bleah. i'm too tired to be bothered with her. in fact i'm kinda tired to be bothered with anyone.
one thing about this holiday i like best is i get to travel from boonlay to tanah merah.. haha you got me right. either i'll slp in the train or i'll read. been reading quite abit. and i like that. shall talk abit more about the books that have been keeping me busy(body mind and spiritually) hahahaha... another time perhaps.
im fucking hungry now.
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
10th May 06, Wednesday 8:40pm
omg.... when i see edmund's name on the tagboard, deep down i thought great i'm gonna start a fight with the thump thump pack. to my surprise, he actually agreed with me!!! and i'm really honoured to have him standing on my side. its no wonder he's my boyfriend (no ting, i'm not emotionally and physically attach to him. i've got a gf.) anyway... ya like i said, i really appreciate what you ppl have done for me.
like edmund said, fia you shouldnt apologise at all. seriously. at that point in time, given the "limited" infomation, everyone normal person would have said it. do you understand what i say? why apologise when at that time you believed it was the right thing to say. beside its your opinion. likewise, i'm not gonna take back my words nor am i apologising to anyone for my behavior. yes perhaps my tone was bad. provoking ppl, practically asking for a fight. then again, at that moment, i was really exploding.
and ya... what are friends for when everybody is keeping everything from their friends. if you're feeling down, stressed with sch work and whatnot, allow your friend to share your agony, pain and whatever. honestly, come to think of it, my dear friend when was the last time you tell me about your life? i'm not talking about those daily kinda thing. i'm refering to your problems? you didnt voice out that you are SOOOO STRESSED with work. you didnt tell any of us that you are not coping well. basically you just say nothing to us. you didnt tell me all that... and knowing that your exam is in june, thinking that you have enough time to study (its my fault making faulty assumptions, however had you told me bout your situation, i wouldnt have made such assumptions) and you not showing up simply disappointed me. as said, if you had told me about your overloading schoolwork, i would have understood. well you didnt see me getting all so fucking pissed off with yirang, suan and jace, did you? i respected their decision.
and i know you have always been there when i needed you. but that night its not like something you can measure. out of ten times you've been there for me for 9 times doesnt mean that i'll let you off not showing up on my BDAY. (ok i know my bday doesnt make me the queen but its just something very special to me lah... walao one whole year only that day la.. now that its over... i cant fucking turn back the clock to 3rd may 2006 lor) ok one good analogy would be... like school exams... from primary one to primary 6, you do damn well for all CAs and SAs... but when it comes to psle you simply just flung it. you had good reasons for that! you were sick. but the markers dont know!!! so does that mean you're incapable? no it doesnt. it doesnt mean that you're not my best friend.. it doesnt mean that you wont be there to support me and help me when i'm in shitty situation... but you flung it on my bday. you just dissapointed me on my bday lah... that's all that i wanna said.
as for jieyun and char... in the first place, i'm not talking about any dinner. my dissapointment with you is the same as xunhui. both of you turned me down on thumper. if money was a big issue, you could have let me know. like the feb thumper. i know you did say you were too broke to go for that one, but did i pester you any longer? no. i understand your situation. i feel that you could have given me a better explanation. rather than just telling me, "oh we're not going, cos we dont like that place." likewise, i'm going to give analogy to illustrate my point of view in case you dont understand. hmmmm say for example you and char get a place and you organise house warming wanting to share your joy with all your close friends. but when you ask me whether i'm going (of cos in this case i assume that my presence is very important cos it was how i felt for my bday), and i tell you, "oh i'm not going cos i dont fancy housewarming." would you feel disappointed? i'm not sure whether you'll feel that maybe i could have made an exception for you both cos after all its your first new house...anyway ppl dont keep buying new house and keep shifting rite? or maybe you would prefer a better explanation or excuse so to speak. for example, "oh i'm not going cos i really dont fancy that sort of thing... too many people over there, i'd feel uncomfortble. i dont know your friends blah blah blah blah blah... hey you know what... maybe the day after that, i'll make it up to you?" if you had done it that way and i was still pissed, i swear to god, in the toilet fia would have scolded me for being UNREASONABLE! and she wouldnt have said what she said.
and miscommunication could have been avoided if, before my bday, you had bothered to tell me what you left on the tagboard. like that day in dan ryan's when i asked you both whether are you girls going or not. i wish i can be more tactful with this... but blame me on my limited vocabs and poor skills in expressing my thoughts. dont push conflicts to miscommunication when it could have been avoided.
and erm... on my part, where did miscommunication arise?
as for my dinner(i wasnt talking about you girls not showing up during the dinner), as edmund has said. i CANCELED my dinner because i was tooooo upset to even wanna step out of my house to face anyone. it was them who insisted that i have one. so ttp organised that for me. and shilei did the same too. and erm... ya... a week after that jace went out with me too... after her exam, surprisingly she still remembered she missed my bday celebration. bottom line is... it would be very nice of you to let me know that you actually have the intention of having a dinner with me as a form of my bday celebration. (i'm not saying that you dont have the intention, pls do read again if you miss it) key words-- let me know. its just like that day when you msged me how i wanna celebrate xh's bday, whether i wanna go for dinner.... i was like... "walao eh... what about me?"
i didnt reply anyone at all when they msged me happy bday. like i said i was too upset and definitely not in the mood to entertain any incoming msg. i even have ppl msging me questions and i totally ignored them (sorry shaun and jake.. haha... didnt mean it).
oh! oh! oh! i did reply one person!!!! and guess what i said? maybe this piece of info will give you girls a better view of why and how fucking upset and disappointed i was. miss von... hahaha.. this can satisfy your need of being kpo.
besides the three of you, miss justina tan chickened out on that night too! after two whole fucking weeks of not meeting her... she didnt fucking showed up on that night. so when she msged me happy birthday, dont drink too much and take care... i fucking replied " I THINK WE SHOULD STOP SEEING EACH OTHER." and i really meant it lor. walao eh.. that bitch. she didnt even reply me. until my dearie called her up. kns. of cos... if we did stop seeing each other... i wouldnt be enjoying myself these few days.. and laughing my ass off everyday. i'd most like be in yet another depression. anyway three of you might be thinking then how come i'm so angry with you all but her. reason being is... (besides the fact that she's pretty and sexy and hance my gf... ok im kidding... actually im not. haha.. i'm just being irritating.) she did make it up to me on the 3rd of may (still my bday).
so yap.... that's it.
like edmund said, fia you shouldnt apologise at all. seriously. at that point in time, given the "limited" infomation, everyone normal person would have said it. do you understand what i say? why apologise when at that time you believed it was the right thing to say. beside its your opinion. likewise, i'm not gonna take back my words nor am i apologising to anyone for my behavior. yes perhaps my tone was bad. provoking ppl, practically asking for a fight. then again, at that moment, i was really exploding.
and ya... what are friends for when everybody is keeping everything from their friends. if you're feeling down, stressed with sch work and whatnot, allow your friend to share your agony, pain and whatever. honestly, come to think of it, my dear friend when was the last time you tell me about your life? i'm not talking about those daily kinda thing. i'm refering to your problems? you didnt voice out that you are SOOOO STRESSED with work. you didnt tell any of us that you are not coping well. basically you just say nothing to us. you didnt tell me all that... and knowing that your exam is in june, thinking that you have enough time to study (its my fault making faulty assumptions, however had you told me bout your situation, i wouldnt have made such assumptions) and you not showing up simply disappointed me. as said, if you had told me about your overloading schoolwork, i would have understood. well you didnt see me getting all so fucking pissed off with yirang, suan and jace, did you? i respected their decision.
and i know you have always been there when i needed you. but that night its not like something you can measure. out of ten times you've been there for me for 9 times doesnt mean that i'll let you off not showing up on my BDAY. (ok i know my bday doesnt make me the queen but its just something very special to me lah... walao one whole year only that day la.. now that its over... i cant fucking turn back the clock to 3rd may 2006 lor) ok one good analogy would be... like school exams... from primary one to primary 6, you do damn well for all CAs and SAs... but when it comes to psle you simply just flung it. you had good reasons for that! you were sick. but the markers dont know!!! so does that mean you're incapable? no it doesnt. it doesnt mean that you're not my best friend.. it doesnt mean that you wont be there to support me and help me when i'm in shitty situation... but you flung it on my bday. you just dissapointed me on my bday lah... that's all that i wanna said.
as for jieyun and char... in the first place, i'm not talking about any dinner. my dissapointment with you is the same as xunhui. both of you turned me down on thumper. if money was a big issue, you could have let me know. like the feb thumper. i know you did say you were too broke to go for that one, but did i pester you any longer? no. i understand your situation. i feel that you could have given me a better explanation. rather than just telling me, "oh we're not going, cos we dont like that place." likewise, i'm going to give analogy to illustrate my point of view in case you dont understand. hmmmm say for example you and char get a place and you organise house warming wanting to share your joy with all your close friends. but when you ask me whether i'm going (of cos in this case i assume that my presence is very important cos it was how i felt for my bday), and i tell you, "oh i'm not going cos i dont fancy housewarming." would you feel disappointed? i'm not sure whether you'll feel that maybe i could have made an exception for you both cos after all its your first new house...anyway ppl dont keep buying new house and keep shifting rite? or maybe you would prefer a better explanation or excuse so to speak. for example, "oh i'm not going cos i really dont fancy that sort of thing... too many people over there, i'd feel uncomfortble. i dont know your friends blah blah blah blah blah... hey you know what... maybe the day after that, i'll make it up to you?" if you had done it that way and i was still pissed, i swear to god, in the toilet fia would have scolded me for being UNREASONABLE! and she wouldnt have said what she said.
and miscommunication could have been avoided if, before my bday, you had bothered to tell me what you left on the tagboard. like that day in dan ryan's when i asked you both whether are you girls going or not. i wish i can be more tactful with this... but blame me on my limited vocabs and poor skills in expressing my thoughts. dont push conflicts to miscommunication when it could have been avoided.
and erm... on my part, where did miscommunication arise?
as for my dinner(i wasnt talking about you girls not showing up during the dinner), as edmund has said. i CANCELED my dinner because i was tooooo upset to even wanna step out of my house to face anyone. it was them who insisted that i have one. so ttp organised that for me. and shilei did the same too. and erm... ya... a week after that jace went out with me too... after her exam, surprisingly she still remembered she missed my bday celebration. bottom line is... it would be very nice of you to let me know that you actually have the intention of having a dinner with me as a form of my bday celebration. (i'm not saying that you dont have the intention, pls do read again if you miss it) key words-- let me know. its just like that day when you msged me how i wanna celebrate xh's bday, whether i wanna go for dinner.... i was like... "walao eh... what about me?"
i didnt reply anyone at all when they msged me happy bday. like i said i was too upset and definitely not in the mood to entertain any incoming msg. i even have ppl msging me questions and i totally ignored them (sorry shaun and jake.. haha... didnt mean it).
oh! oh! oh! i did reply one person!!!! and guess what i said? maybe this piece of info will give you girls a better view of why and how fucking upset and disappointed i was. miss von... hahaha.. this can satisfy your need of being kpo.
besides the three of you, miss justina tan chickened out on that night too! after two whole fucking weeks of not meeting her... she didnt fucking showed up on that night. so when she msged me happy birthday, dont drink too much and take care... i fucking replied " I THINK WE SHOULD STOP SEEING EACH OTHER." and i really meant it lor. walao eh.. that bitch. she didnt even reply me. until my dearie called her up. kns. of cos... if we did stop seeing each other... i wouldnt be enjoying myself these few days.. and laughing my ass off everyday. i'd most like be in yet another depression. anyway three of you might be thinking then how come i'm so angry with you all but her. reason being is... (besides the fact that she's pretty and sexy and hance my gf... ok im kidding... actually im not. haha.. i'm just being irritating.) she did make it up to me on the 3rd of may (still my bday).
so yap.... that's it.
Sunday, May 07, 2006
7th May 06, Sunday 9:20pm
i dont know about you guys... but what do you think about expectations?
i have always thought that i am the kind of person who expects the least from ppl. until jus told me that i might not be. i thought that i'm an easily contented person, considering that a pack of m&m can cheer me up instead of a box of guylian chocs. you know what i mean? i dont need artsy fartsy candlelight dinner that costs a bomb for my bday. all i wanted was a simple dinner gathering with all my close friends. i treasure friendships the most. if you know me well enough... then you'll know that. ya... i know what's in some of your heads... go ahead and doubt my words since some of you might think that most of the time i treat my girlfriend better than you ppl. but still.... have you ever consider that i might appreciate your presence? nah.. it has never crossed your mind, has it?
i'm not going to push all these agony that i have in me to my pms. if you dont like what i say, just go ahead and confront me.
first of all... believe it or not, thump thump pack, i truly appreciate the dinner that you ppl insisted that i have it with you all. yes... you do know where i'm going, dont you? i'm just wondering... what were you all thinking when you decided to leave your house late or wherever you were coming from. call me a bitch or whatever. after all these years... my beloved friends simply had no idea what the biggest taboo is when meeting janet. (ok... leaving out monica and yujia... from the bottom of my heart i thank you girls for being there early) i hate waiting. simply hate it to the core. to me the basic courtesy is to be on time... ok after all these years... i've learn that its really hard to keep that rule. so perhaps a plus minus of 10min would just gain a 10min of naggings from me, afterwhich all is fine. but no. the supposingly bday girl had to wait an hour for the rest with my other friends whom my thump thump pack insisted that we could all have dinner together. well... since you all were late, i'm just wondering how did you guys and girls feel letting my friends wait an hour for all the big stars? in chinese--> ni men hao yi si mah? i feel so terrible. perhaps at that time i expected too much from you ppl. i wanted explanation, at least give me the chance to judge whether i should blame you all. but no. a mere sorry was what i had. i donno how many of you heard me complaining about this... sometimes when a person apologise, there isnt sincerity. cos they simply think that the other would just accept as long as one has already apologised. an example would be "hehehe... hey... sorry ar.. really sorry leh.. i miss the bus/ the bus was late" apology + explanation. so janet you better accept it. well sorry to say that janet is not that easily to please. perhaps you should have left your house at 430 instead of 445 when the meeting is at 5. (dont you think so?) and if you have something to do or to buy or whatnot, perhaps you should have left home much much earlier and plan your time well, right?
you know what? i feel that sometimes i'm guilty of being late because i know that when i'm early, naturally i have to wait for the rest. so seriously why bother being on time? simply because of this kinda thinking, everybody in singapore has developed this ugly habit! even for wedding dinner. you know how fucking disgusting it is? those poor couples waiting to be blessed by their friends and relatives have to wait and wait and wait. and whoever is on time or early has to wait for the dinner to start. how bloody unfair. because your (generally, not pinpointing anyone) time is precious, you dont wanna go early to wait hence you choose to go half an hour to an hour later... walking into the dining hall like some big stars (because big stars has this priviledge of going any ball late, their mere appearance is good enough to wow everyone). and then when they see the bride and groom, they'll say, "aiyo sorry ar.. sorry ar... very busy lah.. work lah.. children lah..." they blame everything under the sun but themselves.
so what do you get out of this? nothing. and i can foresee that happening when my friends are holding their wedding dinner. but no. i'm not going to be late. rest assure. i've decided that i want to be a person with class hence i shall sit patiently in the ballroom and wait for the rest. and finally when they show up, i'll just pass some sarcastic remark. if not they will never feel ashame of themselves. and luckily(thank god) i dont think i'll be holding such event. but if, unfortunately, i have to, i'll make sure that i'll WARN everyone to be on time. and on that night, when the clock struck exactly at the time which is pre-agreed that dinner will start, i'll just order the captain to start. fuck whoever is late.
ok lesson of the day --> from now onwards, i promise myself that i'll either be early or on time whenever i meet any of my friends. its silly to allow others to mould you into someone that is ugly and disgusting.
ok done with that... moving on to a more sensitive issue which i have absolutely no idea where to start. but jus said that i should let it out... so yea if you dont like it... call the bitch up and feel free to confront her. bleah.
this does not include those who are having exams... cos i understand. (hey i'm not unreasonable ok!) and i know who just finished exam and who doesnt have exam until june.
a month before my bday, fia and i (perhaps its only my idea but thanx fia for supporting it...) decided that we'd celebrate it at thumper. kinda like for fia and myself. the ppl whom i really wanted to be there didnt go. if i remember correctly (fia pls be my witness) someone once said "oh for you both, i'll be there.... yea my gf wont allow me to go... but i'll go for you both. she'll understand and ya da ya da ya da..." perhaps you shouldnt have made that sort of comment when you didnt mean it. dont you know it hurt? like fucking badly?
and for these 2 other friends... perhaps on my part i had expected too much from you all... i thought that we were really close and that you girls would have done anything for me on my bday even if you dont like the place. but sorry janet. you have thought too highly of yourself. you know what is so fucking upsetting? its when someone told me on that night when i was crying in the fucking toilet thinking where were my friends, "actually i dont understand why i can be here and those who are your friends are not." that was a fucking slap right on my face.
so try to picture that kinda fucked up bday you have for this year. pretty record breaking isnt it? oh ya... as though it wasnt enough. try picturing this... when you're lying on the bed, wishing damn bloody badly that you'd fall asleep again so that you'd miss your bday, all your friends started msging happy bday to you... then you realised the fucking irony... happy bday? where's the happy part? the sadness was so fucking overwhelming that you started to soak your pillow. wow... another record broken by the bday girl.
anyway... if you're thinking that i'm petty and/or unreasonable. oh you're bloody right that i am. dont you think i have the right to be upset and angry?
ok. after all these... lesson learn--> (courtesy of jus) i have expected too much from others and maybe i'm just too nice to everyone. too nice to a point where they simply dont take me seriously. so i shouldnt be too nice... i'll only do things for myself. and i will not expect things from ppl. with no expectation then only will i learn to appreciate all the little things that others do for me. what do i mean by that? example, i canceled on everyone cos i was so fucking upset. but when dearie came to meet me for a simple ban mian lunch i was so grateful that she showed up.
to be continued
i have always thought that i am the kind of person who expects the least from ppl. until jus told me that i might not be. i thought that i'm an easily contented person, considering that a pack of m&m can cheer me up instead of a box of guylian chocs. you know what i mean? i dont need artsy fartsy candlelight dinner that costs a bomb for my bday. all i wanted was a simple dinner gathering with all my close friends. i treasure friendships the most. if you know me well enough... then you'll know that. ya... i know what's in some of your heads... go ahead and doubt my words since some of you might think that most of the time i treat my girlfriend better than you ppl. but still.... have you ever consider that i might appreciate your presence? nah.. it has never crossed your mind, has it?
i'm not going to push all these agony that i have in me to my pms. if you dont like what i say, just go ahead and confront me.
first of all... believe it or not, thump thump pack, i truly appreciate the dinner that you ppl insisted that i have it with you all. yes... you do know where i'm going, dont you? i'm just wondering... what were you all thinking when you decided to leave your house late or wherever you were coming from. call me a bitch or whatever. after all these years... my beloved friends simply had no idea what the biggest taboo is when meeting janet. (ok... leaving out monica and yujia... from the bottom of my heart i thank you girls for being there early) i hate waiting. simply hate it to the core. to me the basic courtesy is to be on time... ok after all these years... i've learn that its really hard to keep that rule. so perhaps a plus minus of 10min would just gain a 10min of naggings from me, afterwhich all is fine. but no. the supposingly bday girl had to wait an hour for the rest with my other friends whom my thump thump pack insisted that we could all have dinner together. well... since you all were late, i'm just wondering how did you guys and girls feel letting my friends wait an hour for all the big stars? in chinese--> ni men hao yi si mah? i feel so terrible. perhaps at that time i expected too much from you ppl. i wanted explanation, at least give me the chance to judge whether i should blame you all. but no. a mere sorry was what i had. i donno how many of you heard me complaining about this... sometimes when a person apologise, there isnt sincerity. cos they simply think that the other would just accept as long as one has already apologised. an example would be "hehehe... hey... sorry ar.. really sorry leh.. i miss the bus/ the bus was late" apology + explanation. so janet you better accept it. well sorry to say that janet is not that easily to please. perhaps you should have left your house at 430 instead of 445 when the meeting is at 5. (dont you think so?) and if you have something to do or to buy or whatnot, perhaps you should have left home much much earlier and plan your time well, right?
you know what? i feel that sometimes i'm guilty of being late because i know that when i'm early, naturally i have to wait for the rest. so seriously why bother being on time? simply because of this kinda thinking, everybody in singapore has developed this ugly habit! even for wedding dinner. you know how fucking disgusting it is? those poor couples waiting to be blessed by their friends and relatives have to wait and wait and wait. and whoever is on time or early has to wait for the dinner to start. how bloody unfair. because your (generally, not pinpointing anyone) time is precious, you dont wanna go early to wait hence you choose to go half an hour to an hour later... walking into the dining hall like some big stars (because big stars has this priviledge of going any ball late, their mere appearance is good enough to wow everyone). and then when they see the bride and groom, they'll say, "aiyo sorry ar.. sorry ar... very busy lah.. work lah.. children lah..." they blame everything under the sun but themselves.
so what do you get out of this? nothing. and i can foresee that happening when my friends are holding their wedding dinner. but no. i'm not going to be late. rest assure. i've decided that i want to be a person with class hence i shall sit patiently in the ballroom and wait for the rest. and finally when they show up, i'll just pass some sarcastic remark. if not they will never feel ashame of themselves. and luckily(thank god) i dont think i'll be holding such event. but if, unfortunately, i have to, i'll make sure that i'll WARN everyone to be on time. and on that night, when the clock struck exactly at the time which is pre-agreed that dinner will start, i'll just order the captain to start. fuck whoever is late.
ok lesson of the day --> from now onwards, i promise myself that i'll either be early or on time whenever i meet any of my friends. its silly to allow others to mould you into someone that is ugly and disgusting.
ok done with that... moving on to a more sensitive issue which i have absolutely no idea where to start. but jus said that i should let it out... so yea if you dont like it... call the bitch up and feel free to confront her. bleah.
this does not include those who are having exams... cos i understand. (hey i'm not unreasonable ok!) and i know who just finished exam and who doesnt have exam until june.
a month before my bday, fia and i (perhaps its only my idea but thanx fia for supporting it...) decided that we'd celebrate it at thumper. kinda like for fia and myself. the ppl whom i really wanted to be there didnt go. if i remember correctly (fia pls be my witness) someone once said "oh for you both, i'll be there.... yea my gf wont allow me to go... but i'll go for you both. she'll understand and ya da ya da ya da..." perhaps you shouldnt have made that sort of comment when you didnt mean it. dont you know it hurt? like fucking badly?
and for these 2 other friends... perhaps on my part i had expected too much from you all... i thought that we were really close and that you girls would have done anything for me on my bday even if you dont like the place. but sorry janet. you have thought too highly of yourself. you know what is so fucking upsetting? its when someone told me on that night when i was crying in the fucking toilet thinking where were my friends, "actually i dont understand why i can be here and those who are your friends are not." that was a fucking slap right on my face.
so try to picture that kinda fucked up bday you have for this year. pretty record breaking isnt it? oh ya... as though it wasnt enough. try picturing this... when you're lying on the bed, wishing damn bloody badly that you'd fall asleep again so that you'd miss your bday, all your friends started msging happy bday to you... then you realised the fucking irony... happy bday? where's the happy part? the sadness was so fucking overwhelming that you started to soak your pillow. wow... another record broken by the bday girl.
anyway... if you're thinking that i'm petty and/or unreasonable. oh you're bloody right that i am. dont you think i have the right to be upset and angry?
ok. after all these... lesson learn--> (courtesy of jus) i have expected too much from others and maybe i'm just too nice to everyone. too nice to a point where they simply dont take me seriously. so i shouldnt be too nice... i'll only do things for myself. and i will not expect things from ppl. with no expectation then only will i learn to appreciate all the little things that others do for me. what do i mean by that? example, i canceled on everyone cos i was so fucking upset. but when dearie came to meet me for a simple ban mian lunch i was so grateful that she showed up.
to be continued
Thursday, May 04, 2006
4th May 06, Thursday 1:35am
what a day it was... there are three ppl that i really need to thank from the bottom of my heart.
first of all, thank you fia. really. thanx for being there to count down for me. thanx for the help that you gave me when i needed you to. your physical and emotional support meant alot to me.
second on the list, thank you dearie. the eeyore aside, you have no freaking idea what a wonderful birthday present you have given me. its like the BEST-EST :) for that i thank you eternally. sometimes i wonder what life would be like without you. you showed me hope when i was in confusion. you did stuff that i was too chicken to do it by myself for myself. you stood up for me when i was hiding in my room, lying deadly on the bed. seriously... thank you and i love you.
lastly, thank you j. as usual both of us are still in confusion but neither regret anything. though it might mean little to you, it was really something special to me. i hope things go fine for you (i'll pray for that). it sucks to see you being all so stressed up, yet i can do nothing to help. i know they key lies with me. i only wish that i'm strong and determine enough to get through this phase. whatever it is, i love you baby. as much as you love me, if not more.
so that was it. my bday. over.
i almost forgot about this... hope you're reading this,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAG.
first of all, thank you fia. really. thanx for being there to count down for me. thanx for the help that you gave me when i needed you to. your physical and emotional support meant alot to me.
second on the list, thank you dearie. the eeyore aside, you have no freaking idea what a wonderful birthday present you have given me. its like the BEST-EST :) for that i thank you eternally. sometimes i wonder what life would be like without you. you showed me hope when i was in confusion. you did stuff that i was too chicken to do it by myself for myself. you stood up for me when i was hiding in my room, lying deadly on the bed. seriously... thank you and i love you.
lastly, thank you j. as usual both of us are still in confusion but neither regret anything. though it might mean little to you, it was really something special to me. i hope things go fine for you (i'll pray for that). it sucks to see you being all so stressed up, yet i can do nothing to help. i know they key lies with me. i only wish that i'm strong and determine enough to get through this phase. whatever it is, i love you baby. as much as you love me, if not more.
so that was it. my bday. over.
i almost forgot about this... hope you're reading this,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MAG.
Wednesday, May 03, 2006
3rd May 06, Wednesday 3:00am
THANX FOR THE BIRTHDAY.
ITS A RECORD BREAKING ONE.
I'LL REMEMBER THIS FOREVER.
F-U-A
ITS A RECORD BREAKING ONE.
I'LL REMEMBER THIS FOREVER.
F-U-A
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
2nd May 06, Tuesday 3:48pm
HAPPY 21st BIRTHDAY FIA FIA!
on a totally different issue, i'm going to club my ass off this whole week.
thumper tonight.
maybe mambo tmr.
friday might follow edmund to this gay/lesbian pub in tanjong pagar.
mos again on saturday.
yes.
on a totally different issue, i'm going to club my ass off this whole week.
thumper tonight.
maybe mambo tmr.
friday might follow edmund to this gay/lesbian pub in tanjong pagar.
mos again on saturday.
yes.
Monday, May 01, 2006
1st May 06, Monday 12:54am
Jake, Janet, Elmo and Shaun
i had a good time shopping with those two guys. the exact two guys whom i went clubbing with. we met up in the afternoon at suntec to get chuifia's present. it was one of those rare occasions whereby i'd go out with guys and guys alone. elmo is sooo cute right? on our way to the mrt station, we saw ppl taking photos with elmo. so we were daring each other to join the photo taking queue. in the end, we took a group one. haha.
oh btw, check out my new hair colour. dont you just love it?
sometimes making bday plan is really a chore. i donno why. to me, i really want a good gathering. that's the most important thing and its my priority. maybe i should change the way i celebrate. actually i prefer having just one dinner gathering with everybody. that way, i dont have to keep going out everyday meeting different ppl. but the problem with that is its hard to get everybody to fit into one time slot. and i'm not quite sure how my friends feel when they see different groups of ppl. perhaps celebrating that special day with one special person is good enough. perhaps not.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)