stupid blogger

ok don be mislead by the time. i hate this blogger thingy... dont know why they took away the date and time adjustment icons. bleah. so by rite its 11:28pm now. and yes i ought to be in bed already. my body clock has tuned to sleeping by 10pm and waking up at 7am in the morning. argh... i have no idea whether to be happy over it or what?!

i just finished reading a few blogs. one got me so touched that i almost teared. it really has nothing that concerned me, i was just being kpo and it was so fucking sweet. i'm not jealous but i was filled with envy. anyhow... moving on...

the next blog got me thinking bout meeting the thump thumps. i know you guys are reading... i'll just be honest. i'm not ready in meeting you all yet for whatever reason. hopefully i'll see you peeps by christmas. i hope the bond that i built is strong enough to last till then. i guess my problem is me feeling different. its always it. i still love you peeps. but i feel that i fit in much better last time cos i was the happy bubbly me. sometimes i wish i can just rewind time and be back in outram. yet i know its not gonna happen. i feel that i have to hide part of me when i go out with you peeps. like im just not in the mood to crack jokes or join in the crazy fun that you girls are enjoying. neither do i wanna spoil the fun. you know. i hope you all understand. for the time being i just want to be quiet.

i feel that i'm such a bitch. sometimes one needs to work hard to keep the friendship but i'm not doing so. im too exhausted to talk about all these. its so hard to be fair to everyone. to prioritise. often i'd just pray that people will know, understand and forgive. is this the kinda life most of us are living after school? what is going to happen 5 years down the road? will we still be seeing one another? will we still hang out when we are in our fifties? will we still be waiting to catch the sunrise like we used to? but how can all these happen when someone is not doing anything? doesnt it take two hands to clap?

let me rest for awhile k. i mean a long long while.

mommy is sick. emotionally, mentally and physically. i'd bring her to bangkok if i have the money. i guess that will help. if there is reincarnation, i'd still be her daughter. maybe a better one. she needs lotsa rest and relaxation.

actually i wanted to talk about the star award. nah... its getting late. i like biren's outfit though. :P she's gorgeous. so is michelle chia. wee yew weet.

oh i remember what i wanted to blog already! i watch "who's your daddy" in the afternoon! oh my fucking gawd. its about a high school guy striking lottery. not litteraly of course. his biological parents died, leaving him a good hell lot of fortune. and i'm talking about 87million over her. good lord! fucking lucky him man. so i was fantasizing what would it be like if i have that kinda fortune. oh the show started off with this girl having sex with a guy and my mom was like, "is this blue film?! are you watching a blue film???" freaky man. initially i thought it wasnt. i mean it really wasnt but the start off kinda kept me wondering too. so i told her, "errr no lah... i dont think so. its bout college life and anyway im 21! for god sake." hahaha.. luckily it wasnt. how awkward it is to watch blue film with my mom. there were lotsa boobsies jingling around though. *wink*

i'll end this with yet another bsb's.
It's True

Even the lover makes a mistake sometimes.
Like any other, fall out and lose his mind.
And I'm sorry. For the things that I did.
For your teardrops over words I said.
Can you forgive me, and open your heart once again.
Oh yeah

It's true. I mean it. From the bottom of my heart.
Yeah it's true with out you I would fall apart.

What ever happened. I know that I was wrong.
Oh yes. Can you believe me, maybe your faith is gone.
Oh yes it is

but I love you, and I will always will, so
I wonder if you want me still.

Can you forgive me
And open your heart once agian.

It's true
yes it's true
I mean it
Yeah
From the bottom of my heart, yeah it's true
It's true
With out you, I would fall apart
I'd do anything to make it up to you.
So please understand.
And open your heart once agian.

It's true
Ohhh
I mean it from the bottom of my heart.
From the bottom of my heart
It's true, with out you I would fall apart
It's true
You know it's true baby
I mean it.
You know I mean it
From the bottom of my heart
From the bottom of my heart.
Yeah it's true
I mean it
Without you I would fall apart
Oh , oh yeah. it's true